Marching On

Over the last month since my last post, I've Pussyfooted in 2 parades, marched in another, watched a ton of parades, celebrated my birthday, attended 2 more Mardi Gras Balls, bought a car, ate 2 monstrous corn dogs, went camping and continue to battle the crud. Pshew, no wonder I'm still tired. AND now trying to clear out Mardi Gras stuff to make way for St. Patrick's Day.

First of my new car! A Rav 4 I've named Barry White from Lakeside Toyota. The Rav4 and Honda CRV were my top two picks, both highly rated. My experience at Lakeside Toyota (ask for Mike Chosa) was far superior to the one I had at Royal Honda plus, it's closer to where I live for servicing. I love it!

Our float. From https://www.facebook.com/NewOrleansLocal

This year, the Krewe of SPANK got to march first (after the title and royalty float) in the Krewe du Vieux parade. Our float and throws, especially the Dizneylandrieu Map, were highly coveted and beloved by the media. The weather wasn't bad and the crowds were big but polite this year.
More photos: NewOrleansLocal.com, nola.com, Offbeat.com and NolaDefender.com. We had Loki, a "GoogleGlassHole," with us and he took still photos and video of the parade.

In my previous post I said I was going to Pussyfoot in 3 parade. The first was Carrollton on 2/23 and it was a deluge. I was in denial it would rain, and never imagined it would rain as hard as it did. But we danced on and there were still people along the parade route! Every single piece of clothing I was wearing was soak through. Our new corsets bled pink dye all over everything that wasn't already pink. It was insane. I had been feeling better before this day but after that my cold came back. I dropped out of the Nyx parade and didn't even watch it. It was a cold, damp night and I decided it wasn't a good idea for me to be outside. Plus, the next day was my birthday!

The deluge! But we smiled and danced the whole parade.

The Krewe of Muses parade rolled on my birthday and I watched it over at our good friend's who always have an open house for it. The rest of Mardi Gras was a blur as I recovered from the crud.

You don't have to be crazy to live here but it helps.

I survived my trip, but just barely. Day two I went on a rafting trip. The river was running high, fast and very cold due to all the snow melt. We hit a rapid the wrong way and everyone got thrown from the raft except the guide. Two manged to swim to shore, me and another guy got pulled back into the raft. Never been so cold in my life. Scared the shit out of me and I got some lovely bruises. One guy twisted his ankle really bad. But we all were OK and we only lost 3 baseball caps and one paddle.

That white stuff is snow, my friends. Up to our knees in some places.

It's always interesting to travel-you realize just how dysfunctional yet unique New Orleans really is. The first week of my trip was small spent in small, charming mountain towns in the southern half of Colorado. One day were were so high up in the mountains that the snow still hadn't melted. The second week I was in Denver for a conference. Denver is huge and flat. Who knew? It's very clean and there's a good mix of older buildings and new ones. I thought "this is what it's like to live in a town with a robust tax base." I like the funk of New Orleans though, and Denver seems like it tries too hard. My friend and I visited Pearl Street, billed as "unique shops, excellent dining and community minded businesses nestled in a delightful, pedestrian and pet friendly setting." All three blocks of it. Whatever. It pales compared to Magazine Street which is 6 miles long full of shops, restaurants, bars and galleries.

Cute, mountain town of Silverton.

I did have an interesting experience. I have friends in Denver and they picked me up from my downtown hotel and took me to their house for dinner. I was there for about 5 minutes when the power went out. It was a very hot day so we all assumed it was a brownout. But it stayed out. Thankfully they lived within walking distance of some restaurants so we headed out. This was no brownout, traffic lights were also out. My friend pulled up the news on her Blackberry - an electrical substation had exploded and thousands of people were out of power! We were lucky there was an area near by that had power and we were able to have dinner. They took me back to my hotel around 9pm and it was creepy. It was dark, no lights, no traffic lights - very reminiscent of parts of New Orleans after Katrina - plus smoke. Thankfully downtown had power so my hotel wasn't affected.

Getting back to crazy; I come home to extreme heat and humidity, the start of hurricane season and the on-going oil "spill" in the gulf. I won't lie, it was a relief to be away from all the bad news for a while. As well as away from the humidity. But we do find ways to distract ourselves and make it worth it to live here: incredible food, amazing music, copious amount of booze available 24/7, the laissez faire attitude, Mardi Gras, festivals and other crazy things. For example, I just found out today I got accepted into the Pussyfooters, one of the female dance troupes. There are others; Camel Toes Steppers, Bearded Oysters and The Muffalottas. I also play on a Skee Ball team every Thursday. Excuse me, it's a skee ball and drinking league. The guy who formed the league just made this great video. I'm a member of two Mardi Gras krewes, so I get to dress up in costumes and parade through the street with a drink in my hand, throwing stuff at people-it's really a hoot. If you are thinking "grow up" then you don't have the right attitude to live here. Yes, people do have jobs, pay bills, own homes and raise families. We just like to have fun while being all grown up and responsible.

The New Orleans Saints Superbowl Drinking Game

1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1
4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds.
8. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”
9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1
10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer
11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1
12. If they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor
13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1
14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Superbowl victory, drink 1 and yell Who dat!
15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1
16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2
17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5
18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “bullshit!”
19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink
20. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1. If they show old footage of him with the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.
21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling "Who dat!" Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1 and yell Who dat!
22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Marvin Williams.
23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then do a little dance since he'll be gone after May.

Other Rules not involving the Saints:
1. Every time they show Eli Manning in the press box, drink 1
2. Every time Pierre Garcon is mentioned with Haiti, drink 1
3. If Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason, drink 1

If I play this game I'm going to be passed out on the floor by the end of the first quarter!

Flexi-Lent

In case you didn’t know, the whole purpose of Mardi Gras is to have one big blow out before Lent. Many non- Catholic people in New Orleans observe a form of Lent. It’s sort of a do-over for the New Year’s resolutions you didn’t keep. I decided to do a mini-Lent between now and the Irish Channel Parade March 14th. No booze (whimper), South Beach Diet Phase 1 and lots more exercise. I think I can keep that up 2 weeks. And putting up here will give me motivation, I hope.

Similar to my idea is something my friend emailed me “Flexi-Lent”

Flexi-Lent is a modern twist on the traditional Catholic practice of giving up vices (like booze) and living healthy between Mardi Gras and Good Friday (which is the Friday before Easter Sunday). Some Catholics believe it is acceptable to drink on Sundays during lent. Irish Catholics naturally add St. Patrick’s Day to that list. Thus, it appears fine to drink seven times during Lent. You get seven exemptions, in other words.

Here’s the modern twist: Instead of being confined to those specific seven days, we have decided to make the exemptions flexible. In other words, you have seven exemptions (or 12-hour drinking periods) during Lent, which you can use any time you want. One can engage in multiple vices during one exemption period. (Note: There is no solid theological support for that rule.) Exemptions can be used whenever you want. They can perhaps even be bought and sold on the free market (but I’ll leave that to the theologians).

Also, there is typically a fitness component. I try to run 100 miles during lent, but my foot is hurt so I’m not doing that. (I’m working on some new goal

Finally, be smart with your exemptions. Save them. Don’t burn them quickly. And remember St. Patrick’s Day is one of the seven exemptions.

Flexi-Lent ends on Good Friday, at which point all Flexi-Lentarians will have a party, which will be known as Flexivus.

And remember: Flexi-Lent is Exci-Lent!

New Hurricane Cocktails

Usually email forwards aren't worth posting, but I'll make an exception for this one.

MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
Clamato
Prune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with
equal parts clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor
whose tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd
warned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

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CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill
remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then
garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and
vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded
your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

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CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman
say, 'cone of probability,' bite off the end of the cone and down the shot.
If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should
change this to the 'Cantore Zone'... damn him.
Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if
Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?)

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FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass.
Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir,
and drink through a straw.

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BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee butt back to New Jersey where it belongs.

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DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass.
Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two
freakin' weeks without television and AC.

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FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills
all over the countertop.

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COLD SHOWER
2 oz. Blue Aftershock
4 oz.. Sprite
Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after
waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep
breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits
your tongue.
Repeat.

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LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt.
Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and
can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of
sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast him with
rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

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THE CHAIN SAW
1 oz. Goldschläger
1 oz. Rumplemintz
3 oz. Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth
Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can.
Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt
to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to
hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

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FOUR-WAY STOP
1 1/2 oz. vodka
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano
1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine
Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself
and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks
first.. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If
somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and
beat the living crap out of him.

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BLUE TARP
1 1/2 oz. Curacao
2 oz. pineapple juice
Splash of lime
Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve.
Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup.
If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do
the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the
process.

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FEMA FIZZLE
1 1/2 oz. Southern Comfort
2 oz. sloe gin
Tonic water
One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in
ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin
in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of
Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie.
Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, 'Doing a helluva
job Brownie

Oh Streetcar!

This month’s “Babes, Booze and Books” book club meeting will be one to go down in history for us. This month’s selections were Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams and Music for Camelians by Truman Capote. Our fearless leader J had a smashing idea one night while out drinking with K, another Babe. She said we should discuss the books while riding the streetcar. She promised me we wouldn’t be “out all night” because she had a busy day the next day. We all gathered at J’s house. We started out with Brandy Cassis cocktails since Capote drank a lot of Brandy. J first proposed we eat after the streetcar ride, but a couple of us decided we need to eat before we drank so we helped ourselves to fried chicken, potato salad and the mirliton and shrimp casserole. We saved the red beans and peach cobbler for after the ride. (Our meetings are potluck and we are damn fine cooks if I do say so.) J then made a round of “Streetcars” – actually they were “Sidecars” but we rechristened them for the evening. Eventually, we made our way to Canal Blvd to catch the streetcar. We had to wait for a little bit, so J broke out a bottle of wine and plastic cups. There were nine of us and I’m sure the other people waiting there for the streetcar to ride to work were not amused. We encourage them to all board before us, since we had to finish our drinks before we could board. We sat in the back and started talking about “Streetcar.” We also took silly photos of ourselves, and I took the opportunity to shoot some video. I love the sounds of the streetcar.



We got off the streetcar and headed to the Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleon. Supposedly Tennessee wrote in the bar. I had never been, though it’s been on my list of things to do in New Orleans. Well, it’s a bar, and it looks like a carousel. The people sitting around the bar rotate, while the bartender stays stationary. The staff was great – the bartender cheerfully made nine cocktails with much flair, and the bored waiters were dancing to the lame disco that was playing. It was hard for all of us to talk together, so we ended up chatting in groups of three.



J then ordered us to get to-go cups because it was time to move on. We walked back to Canal to catch the St. Charles streetcar. We had to wait again, so J broke out munchies. When the streetcar arrived, it was packed! The driver kept picking more people up and they just had to cram themselves in. We had to physically pull people through the aisle when we came to their stop. Finally enough people got off we were able to sit. We got off at Louisiana Ave and walked over to the Delachaise. It too was packed and they had only one bartender working. If you’ve even been there you know how trying it can be to get a drink. J got frustrated, and was also upset to be told that Chef Chris no longer worked there (I hope that’s not true). She remembered we still had wine with us, so some of us drank that while a few who didn’t want wine waited (and waited, and waited…) for their cocktail. One of the babes pointed out it was after 10 and she has to be at work at 7am. We walked back to wait for the streetcar. And wait. A man who had come out of the Rite Aid told us to be careful walking on the streetcar tracks then asked where we were from. He didn’t believe were we locals until he and J started talking about cooking. Once again, out comes the wine and we shared some with our new friend.



By the time we got back to Canal Street to transfer to the other line it was 11:30. J asked the people waiting if they knew what time the next car would arrive. After midnight? TAXI! We took cabs back to the start. When we got back to J’s a few babes left but the rest of us dug into the red beans and sausage and the homemade peach coddler with ice cream. I got home at 12:45. So much for not staying out late.

Radar indicated that 3 to 5 inches of rain fell this morning in an hour and a half over much of New Orleans. As much as 1 to 3 inches more is possible. About 3 to 6 inches of rain has fallen in Jefferson Parish, including Metairie, Harahan, Old Jefferson, Bridge City and Avondale.

A rain gauge at Audubon Park collected 4.42 inches from about 8 a.m. to 10 a.m., the weather service said.

I was afraid it wasn’t going to stop raining there for a while. We are on high ground here on Annunciation but for the first time in 9 years we had to move our cars and saw water covering our street. If it was bad here I know it was much worse in other parts of the city.

Of course, this is nothing compared to Iowa and Indiana. I was tooling around looking at photos of the flooding and noticed this side bar from the IndiStar.com (hat tip Celcus)

Experts advise that storm victims do the following to help maintain their mental health:
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Exercise.
- Talk to friends and family members.
- Avoid caffeine and alcohol.

It took me back to the first weeks after Katrina and the federal flood.
-Sleep? Who could sleep? We took sleeping pills and still could not sleep.
-I must have ate a healthy diet ‘cause I gained 10 pounds in a month and a half.
-Exercise… we walked every morning because we had no place to be.
-Avoid caffeine and alcohol. *snort* that one cracked me up the most. I remember when we moved out of our in-laws house into my brother-in-laws place my first words were “I want to get blotto” 5 minutes later I had a martini sitting in front of me and it wasn’t the last. You better believe caffeine and alcohol are in my "disaster kit."

Inspired by the fact I was going to go spend a few days in a "dry" state, I was inspired to put together a play list that I call "Songs about Drinking." Here's what I had available on my computer or popped in my head and quickly downloaded from itunes. I need a few more songs to round out a CD. Anyone?

Drinking Wine, Spo Dee O Dee - Andy Kirk & His Clouds of Joy
Dry County - The B-52's
All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) - Tom Waits
TV Party - Black Flag
All on a Mardi Gras Day - Kermit Ruffins with the Rebirth Brass Band
If The Sea Was Whiskey - Willie Dixon
Debutant Ball - Mike West
Is That All There Is - Peggy Lee
Mint Juleps And Needles - Brenda Kahn